Regarding Christine O'Donnell's Comments Regarding Masturbation

So, one Christine O'Donnell, a young Tea Party senate candidate from Delaware, has achieved a lot of notoriety for stupid-sounding comments from her past, as well as her Palin-like incompetence in politics. The one that seems to have gotten the most attention is the one where she says that, per Christianity, masturbation is a form of adultery.
The weird thing is that, at least within Christianity, she isn't actually wrong. It's based on something that the character of Jesus said, that one who feels lust has committed adultery within his heart. In fact, this line has been touted for years by one Ray Comfort, during his man-on-the-street interviews, to recruit people to his rather profitable cult. He uses two fallacious attacks to convince the victim that he is a murderer and an adulterer, both based on what Jesus said (the murder bit is based on feeling anger, and works the same way). The fallacy lies in the fact that it is being presupposed that what Jesus said was true. But, within Christianity, which already supposes the truth of the statements made by the character of Jesus in its sacred text, it is true.
So, when Christine O'Donnell believes that lust is adultery, people are all over her for her believing what all Christians believe anyway. I'm just wondering: Why hasn't it been a big deal until now?

So There's a Vampire MMO in the Works...

So, apparently, CCP, the company that makes the video game EVE Online, is working on a Vampire MMORPG. It should be noted that it's using the old Vampire: the Masquerade intellectual property. You know, the one where the end of the world is coming and the various lines don't use quite the same mechanics and all that.
I'm not sure exactly what to make of it. The fact that they're developing a World of Darkness MMO, and that it's focused on the Vampire line, just makes business sense. However, it seems that Vampire fans really like the intrigue involved, whereas an MMORPG is usually a collection of quests/missions. (Making MMOs out of missions makes sense: It's easy to add/remove missions modularly, and it's also fairly straightforward to come up with new ones.) Now, sure, quests could have story elements such that they seem like PCs are backstabbing NPCs or something like that, but that wouldn't be all that genuine.
CCP has said that it's going to be focused on politics/intrigue/player interaction (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/103767-CCP-Teases-New-Vampire-the-Masquerade-MMO), which makes it sound kind of PvP, which isn't really my style (not that I was going to play a Vampire MMO anyway), so there's that. I hope that they come up with an interesting way to do it, though. The industry could stand some innovation, something outside of the MMORPG trinity of quest, dungeon, and achievement unlocked.
If I had to take a guess, I'd say that the Vampire MMO will probably end up a lot like DDO: Players will prefer the tabletop RPG, but will play the MMO if they can't regularly play the preferred game, to get their fix. (FYI: This is what got me into DDO, though an important part was that DDO is F2P (free to play).)

There's a Crack in my Beast Below

Right, I meant to blog about this quite a long time ago, but I forgot.
There's sort of a bit of an enormous plot hole in the Doctor Who episode "The Beast Below". Fair warning: There are spoilers regarding this episode of Doctor Who. Also, I'll probably talk as though you've already seen the episode, so it would be good for you to watch "The Beast Below" before reading this, if you haven't already.
So, at the end of "The Beast Below", it is discovered that the titular character (the beast below, not The Doctor), who has been propelling the giant city-ship up until this point, goes faster when it's not being shocked in the brain every few seconds. Specifically, the creature came to Earth in order to help the humans, though it couldn't communicate with them, which is supposed to have allowed this whole scenario to emerge.
To make sure that we're on the same page here: for literally the entire journey of the vessel (a few centuries in length), the beast below the city has been being shocked, in the brain, at very regular intervals. This is where I see an enormous plot hole. It means the following:
-Whoever was in charge of this project had to, somehow, decide to start shocking the alien in the brain once every few seconds before they left Earth orbit.
-Whoever was in charge of this project had to then implement this shocking plan, including making the brain-hole and constructing and activating the probe, again before leaving Earth orbit.
-The probe had to go the entire trip without breaking, needing replaced, or needing to be turned off to be cleaned, repaired, or updated.
-For the entire trip, the probe's power supply had to be uninterrupted.
-They had to never want to stop or slow down. Since they thought that the frequent shocks were keeping the beast moving, they would have reduced or stopped them to slow down or stop.
-Nobody ever said "Hey, what do you suppose would happen if we stopped shocking the creature for a few minutes?" - at least not in a convincing way.
-Nobody ever accidentally turned the device off.
-No scientist in the control room ever went rogue enough to sabotage the shock system. Also, nobody ever successfully broke into the control room or hacked into the controls to do the same.

Basically, the decision to set up this shock system was extremely unscientific - grounded only in ... well, absolutely nothing - and keeping it in perpetual operation would be a logistical nightmare - as anyone who has to maintain any system can tell you.

P.S.: I'd have given more/better details, but I'm going on memory, and the episode was quite a while ago. Like I said, I meant to blog about this and forgot.

Was He Dead?

I've noticed a peculiar trend regarding the English language. Specifically, this has to do with tense and dead people. In English, when referring to someone who's dead, and describing that person with "to be" or "to have" or similar, one uses the past tense (except, of course, when using the word "dead"). So, for example, "he was tall" or "she had blue eyes" would be used, rather than "he is tall" or "she has blue eyes".
So, if someone's dead, then use the past tense, and, by the contrapositive, if the speaker is using the present tense, then the subject is not dead.
The problem is that a lot of people seem to assume that the converse and inverse are also true. That is, they assume that, if the speaker is using the past tense, then the subject is dead, and if the subject is alive, then the tense will always be present.
I happen to find it a bit annoying when this happens. I use the past tense when I'm referring to something in the past, but sometimes I'll be talking about something in the past and it happens to involve a human and a listener will assume that I'm talking about someone who's dead. Why? I don't know.
Does this ever happen to you?

You Might be a Geek If... GadgetHovel edition

First of all, I made a Google doc with all of my original "you might be a geek if..." submissions. Here's the link.
You might be wondering what that is. Well, @Aron1701 (henceforth "Todd"), the guy who does the GadgetHovel webcomic, also does a "podcast", called the "Toddcast". Recently, his 100th episode was coming up, and he asked listeners to submit "you might be a geek if..." phrases/jokes. It's a bit like the "you might be a redneck" stuff, but for geeks. Y'know, the opposite of rednecks. ;)
Todd cheated and had a co-host on the show, by the name of "Matt". They went through the "you might be a geek if..." submissions, to see what they got and what they didn't. Since they indicated that they wanted feedback, I figured that I could provide it in this blog post. So, here it is, a per-item list of my "you might be a geek if..." submissions and how they both fared.

You might be a geek if...

...you know what a "mummorpuhguh" is. "Mummorpuhguh" (spelling it pseudo-phonetically - I've only heard it pronounced) is a sort of tongue-in-cheek term to refer to an MMORPG, as used by Yahtzee at Zero Punctuation.
Matt couldn't figure this one out, but Todd managed to, even if he did stumble over the words. However, neither one of them managed to figure out that it was a reference to the aforementioned Zero Punctuation.

...you've visited www.kli.org. The KLI is the Klingon Language Institute, and kli.org is their site.
Matt & Todd both got this one right. Todd also has a Klingon dictionary. I'd also like to point out, per their tangent on J.R.R. Tolkien, that Tolkien was actually a philologist.

...you can correctly spell any of the following words without looking them up: nuqneH, bat'leth, Qapla'. Obviously, this one was based on the idea that the list would be read on the air, so you wouldn't just see the spellings of the words. These are some extremely common Klingon terms.
They mispronounced "nuqneH". Matt somehow couldn't pronounce "bat'leth". They managed "Qapla'" pretty well for humans. I couldn't actually test their ability to spell these, of course. ;)

...you've read at least 2 more RPG books than you've played. This should be pretty self-explanatory. Myself, I've read quite a few more RPG books than I've gotten to play.
Matt passed this litmus test, but Todd didn't.

...you've applied the system from one game to the setting of another. This refers to taking the rules/mechanics from one RPG and applying them to the setting/universe of another. I present you Don't Rest Your Spirit of the Century (not mine), which takes the amazing system for Don't Rest Your Head and applies them to Spirit of the Century.
Though neither of them seems to have actually done this, Matt actually knew what I meant, whereas Todd did not.

...you've invented your own race, class, or feat/aspect/power/spell/special ability/whatever for an RPG. This refers to making one's own race (species) or class in an RPG, or, also in an RPG, making a feat, aspect, or similar thing.
Todd apparently invented a race for a game so that his player could play a droid. Matt claimed to have done it, saying that it's necessary in the Hero system, but I don't know enough about the Hero system to say whether that's really what I was meaning. To compare, I wouldn't count Godlike as necessitating the creation of powers, even though one usually does combine powers, simply because the new powers created are just a mix of existing powers. I'm trying to explain this briefly, and not doing too well, possibly because it's 0100. Let's move on...

...you own at least two dice of each 20, 12, 8, and 4 sides, and at least four 10-sided dice. This is a reference to polyhedral die sets, though one could obtain the dice individually. Basically, one could read this as "you own at least two polyhedral die sets". Each set has two 10-siders, which is why I insisted on 4 of them. I ignored 6-siders because people regularly have at least 4 among various board games.
It sounded like both Todd and Matt had at least that many dice.

...you own at least 72 six-sided dice. I came up with this number because 5mm (I think) dice usually come in a box of 36 (four 3x3 layers). Two such boxes would yield 72 dice. For the record, I've purchased 3 such boxes, for a total of 108, not to mention all of the various other 6-siders that I own (including those from polyhedral sets).
Todd didn't have this many, but ... did Matt say?

...you know what it means "to tank", "to pull aggro", and "to buff", and not in the sense of polishing things. For those who don't know, these are MMORPG terms. "To tank" means "to soak attacks/damage." "To pull aggro" means "to draw aggression", which is MMORPG speak for "to get monsters to attack oneself instead of others," which has to do with party/group/fellowship play. "To buff" means "to give a boost," such as +1 to attack, +5 to damage, or +2 to armor class.
They both knew this, and given how much Todd talks about WoW and Champions, I'd be disappointed if he didn't.

...you always know where your towel is. A good hitchhiker always knows where his towel is.
They both knew what this one meant, though neither said whether he actually always knew where his towel was. Also, Todd managed to screw up "hoopy frood". For the record, I regularly carry around at least one towel on my person.

...you know that "Him Who Must Not Be Named" could kick Lord Voldemort's ass. The Unspeakable One trumps any mere wizard.
They couldn't figure it out, even with their Google-fu. I am very disappoint.

...you give away gifts at your own birthday party. This is a reference to how Hobbits celebrate their birthdays. This one may have been a bit too subtle.
They had no idea.

...you know why that last one is on this list. Well, I couldn't very well expect people to actually give away gifts at their own birthday parties, now could I?
See above.

...you know what Goblinization Day is. Goblinization day is the day in the Shadowrun timeline when several humans forever changed into trolls and orcs, leading to the existence of those races in the Shadowrun universe.
Matt knew; Todd didn't.

...you know what the AADA is. The American Autoduel Association is of course a reference to Car Wars.
They couldn't figure it out, and with hilarious results. For further details, see the next entry.

...you know what the "Free Oil States" are, and which ones they are. The "Free Oil States" are Texas, Oklahoma, and Louisiana, after they secede from the United States of America in the Car Wars timeline.
They couldn't figure this one out, either, until they Google'd it. Naturally, as they're both Steve Jackson properties, the result of this was "something to do with GURPS".

...happiness is mandatory. This is from Paranoia, a great darkly humorous RPG, which takes place in a facility known as "Alpha Complex".
Matt got it down to "internet meme", and I think that Todd knew it, though he wasn't able to remember the name of the game.

...you don't have clearance for that, Friend Citizen. This is another Paranoia reference.
They had no idea. Todd actually surrendered. XD

...you've died during character creation. This is a Traveller reference. For those who don't know, in the original Traveller, character creation began with determining one's character's career prior to the game, which included a mix of choices and random die rolls. There was also something of a push-your-luck mechanic: the longer that one's career went, the greater his possible rewards, but also the more opportunities to die, causing the player to have too start over.
Neither said that he'd ever had an actual during-creation character death. Also, the hypothetical scenario that Todd devised wouldn't work in D&D (which it sounded like it was). Starting Con mod never goes below -3, and one doesn't roll for initial HP, so even a Wizard or sorcerer would get at least a 4 on the die.

...you regularly say "gorram", "frak", or "frell". "Gorram" is a replacement for "damn" from Firefly. "Frak" is a replacement for "fuck" from Battlestar Galactica. "Frell" is a replacement for "fuck" or "hell" from Farscape.
Todd and Matt passed this one with flying colors, though Todd bungled the pronunciation of "gorram" sometimes.

...you can recite either Mr. Freeze's opening monologue or his closing monologue from "Heart of Ice". "This is how I'll always remember you: surrounded by winter, forever young, forever beautiful. Rest well, my love. The monster who took you from me will soon learn that revenge is a dish best served cold." I just typed that from memory, though I suppose that you'll have to take my word for it. For future reference, "Heart of Ice" was an episode from the truly great Batman: the Animated Series. It's probably best remembered among Batman fans as the instance where Mr. Freeze changed forever, as he was previously just a generic cold-themed villain.
Well, Matt at least knew that "Heart of Ice" was an episode from Batman: the Animated Series, so there's that. ... moving on...

...you know who Elim (the tailor) is. This is, of course, a reference to Elim Garak, from DS9.
FAIL!

...you sometimes read sequential art right-to-left. This is, of course, a reference to Japanese manga. If you sometimes read manga, then you might be a geek.
Todd knew that "sequential art" means "comics", but considered the whole thing a puzzle. Matt had it figured out.

...you know what "Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu" is, and watched it in broadcast order. "Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu", better known as "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" here in the states, is an anime series famous for being broadcast in non-chronological order.
Todd had no idea. Matt at least knew what it was, but assumed that I meant "while it was being broadcast".

...you've dressed up as a video game, anime, manga, or western print comic character, and it was neither Halloween season nor a costumed ball. This basically means "you've cosplayed", but limited to the particularly geeky things. I also didn't want to give everyone who's ever done Halloween a free pass.
Todd hates costumes. Matt had some weird story about wearing tights.

...you answer uncertain questions with "42". This is another Hitchhiker's Guide reference.
They got it.

I actually sent in another "you might be a geek if..." at the last minute, but it apparently wasn't soon enough to make it onto the show, so I'll avoid mentioning it here just yet, just in case it gets mentioned on the next episode.

Sudden Short Story 3

"Look, I'm not saying that they definitely exist. I'm just saying that they might exist, or at least might have at some point."
"Well, the same thing could be said for sasquatch or elves. They might have existed at some point, theoretically, but we generally assume that they didn't, for lack of evidence."
"Right, but those were always anthropomorphizations. I'm talking about something quite different, something much closer to other extant lifeforms."
"Well, you don't believe in unicorns, right? So why would you believe in deer?"
"Well, a unicorn would be unexpected. It's only supposed to have one protrusion, centered, but with an asymmetrical twist to it. That's not to mention all of the mystical properties ascribed to it."
"Aren't these alleged deer a bit mysterious, too? They have these big, branching horns coming out of their heads, but they're supposed to live - or at least have lived - in forests? And they could disappear for extended periods of time, even in areas purported to lack caves? And why hasn't anyone seen one since ancient times, anyway?"
"Well, that's why I'm open to the idea that maybe they once existed, but don't any more. And as for the other things, well, stranger things have been found to exist in the fossil record. Plus, it's not like every single thing from the old stories will turn out to be true. Remember Chiroptera gargantum? They turned out to be real, but without those short, useless forelimbs that they allegedly had."
"I wonder if the head-ornaments will turn out to be the same way. After all, not all accounts of deer include those. ... Well, when you get right down to it, we can't confirm that they existed until we find a specimen, living, dead, or fossilized. Still, I don't even know of any path that might lead to such a thing. It sounds more to me like something that was invented back in the day when humans were still trying to pilot vehicles manually. They provide a good excuse for accidents, don't you think? They're a bit like Disney lemmings in that regard - suicidal, but not enough to make them extinct."
"Yeah, that behavior does seem a bit silly. That's probably the best evidence that deer never existed, after all."

---
NOTE: Holy crap, I totally forgot about this one. I started it back in February, apparently. Well, at least it's finished now.

On Squirrel memories

I had an idea just now. I remember, in the past, when I was younger, hearing stuff about how squirrels bury lots of acorns, etc., but only dig up a few, and presumably forget where many of them are buried. I've devised an experiment.
Let's say that we have a population of squirrels that typically digs up 30% of its buried nuts. The experiment would be to dig up half of a given squirrel's buried nuts when it's not looking (do squirrels hibernate?).
We fully expect the squirrel to dig up some spots where it originally buried nuts, and find them missing.
If the squirrel successfully digs up only 30% of the remaining nuts, then it probably only remembered 30% of the original.
If the squirrel successfully digs up 60% of the remaining nuts (or twice whatever its original percent was), then it probably remembered all locations, but only needed a certain number of buried nuts.

Experiments about this have probably already happened, but I just happened to think of it, and I haven't been blogging enough!